Movies I Want to See - Angel

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - I'm late to the game on this one. My Mom told me about the original movie way back when she watched it on Netflix and I still didn't give it a shot. Since another version came out so soon - it must be good.

The Raven - I'll watch anything with John Cusack! Some have been worth it (Grosse Point Blank, Better Off Dead, Identity, High Fidelity, Say Anything..., and more), while others left me cringing in my seat (Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, One Crazy Summer, Con-Air, and that one with Diane Lane - bet you don't remember that one either).

 

This Means War - movie looks hilarious! And just from the preview and casting - I'm kind of hoping Reese gets both men and starts a reverse polygamy effort. They are kind to eyes!

The Woman in Black - I know, it has Daniel Radcliffe. I'm glad to see him in another major motion picture other than Potter. I dare you to watch the preview - full volume with all the lights out right before you fall asleep!

 

Safe House - Denzel Washington and Ryan Reynolds. That is all. Casting agent is a genius!!!

The Cabin in the Woods - People who pieced the preview together get two thumbs up. Great job! I may be sorely disappointed with the movie - but the job was well done and it'll get me to watch it in the theater (whenever that may be).

 

And Finally...

The Dark Knight Rises - Christopher Nolan has created a fan out of me. Although I don't care for Christian Bale - the movie will exceed all my expectations! Guaranteed.

Final Destination 5

Rob's Take:

Final Destination 5. Final Destination 5? There's been five of these damn movies? Isn't Final Destination fancy talk for "this is the last stop"? I'm sorry, but when the subway speaker announces "last stop", I never think, "Oh, it's cool. It'll just bash through the solid brick wall and keep going - it'll be like a short cut to awesomeness". No. NO! (shakes finger at the producers and financiers).

Okay, so they threw in Candyman to keep some sort of consistency. What? His real name is Tony Todd? How do you spell that? T-O-N-Y  T-O-Candyman. No - his name is Candyman. Well, the death scares are gory but lame - just like every death in every other one of these movies. Nothing much else about it. There was a bridge, some blood, and then a plane - which melded into the first Destination, hopefully seeing a fathomable Final Destination 6 under 17 feet of reinforced concrete and titanium.

Done. 

I give this thing 2 OOHS for effort and no AAHS for the same expected crap as the last four.

Angel's Take:

Shut up, Rob! To your credit, I'm a horror movie fanatic, and when I saw the preview for the latest addition to the Final Destination franchise - I was bored and disinterested - probably just like you.

To me, Final Destination is synonymous to the Saw series. Repetitive, unoriginal, and unnecessary. Both Final Destination and Saw resort to gimmick - how many rat traps does it take for a bit character to die a brutal an disgusting death? But with Final Destination - most of the opening catastrophic sequences are plausible. Destination 1 - airplane explosion/crash - check. Destination 2 - major multiple car accident - check. Destinations 3 and 4 sucked in my opinion - probably because I don't ride roller coasters due to my severe fear of heights (and Destination 3 did nothing to satiate my fear) and I don't spend my weekends at a racing junket. The only difference between Final Destination and the Saw franchises is that Saw has obnoxiously cornered the market on the Halloween box office weekend since it's inception. "Hey! It's Halloween! Let's spend our money and go see a 90 minutes of overladen death traps! Yeah!!"

With that said - I'll brief you on Final Destination 5.

The newest member to the series introduces the "well-developed" characters trying to survive a bridge collapse. Our lead in the film - the one who has the dubious honor of seeing more than he wants to see, resulting in guilt and disbelief over his over the top, "We're going to die!" rant that saves a "lucky" few - is the likeable and almost chipmunk-ish Nicholas D'Agosto. Side note: D'Agosto got his showbiz break starring alongside Matthew Broderick and Reese Witherspoon in Election, a movie set in Omaha and directed by critically acclaimed Nebraskan, Alexander Payne. From there, D'Agosto has been in obscure (low budget horror movie, Drive-Thru - don't even waste your time on that one) and big time (television series, Heroes and the cheer leading/womanizing comedy romp, Fired Up!) Hollywood fare. D'Agosto delivers a competent performance in a film that he was reluctant to be a part of because the previous Destination was a butt plug in the anals annals of horror cinema.

Along for the ride is Emma Bell as the hapless and gratuitous love interest of the lead survivor; Miles Fisher aka Tom Cruise's baby brother as the lead's main buddy and subsequent arch nemesis; Arlen Escarpeta as the lead's co-worker; David Koechner as the lead's boss; and finally, Courtney B. Vance as the FBI agent on the case, who I believe was cast because he's one of the more recognizable (and I'm guessing affordable) actors, besides the creepy death expert, Tony "Candyman" Todd. The rest of the cast serve as obligatory death fodder to help the film progress from start to finish. The deaths aren't really over the top - they're a bit tame, to be honest. However, Final Destination 5 delivers a smart and effective twist for a conclusion.

Final Destination really didn't need another film - but we know how the game works and it was bound to happen. Hollywood is greedy and lacks brain power (Christopher Nolan and few others aside) due to tofu and soy latte overdose. At least the film was not an absolute monstrosity. I found myself rooting for the clairvoyant (is that right?) lead, whereas in Final Destinations 3 and 4, I could have cared less who lived and who died and in what order or patter. I give Final Destination 5 2 OOHS and 1 AAH for the noteworthy twist and death collage credits. Rent or purchase this movie at your personal discretion.

Coming Up Next - Final Destination 5!

Crazy.Stupid.Love. - 2011

Rob's Take:

Alright... so, Crazy.Stupid.Love.  Three small beautiful words that make you want to drool the words “chick flick. Already sucks worse than a broken crazy straw." 
What?... you know you used those damn things at least once before you realized the fun ended before you could even get the first taste of sweet, sweet chocolate milk, knowing that you have to suck harder than a 72nd street - you know what - before those things even started to give way to your quenching thirst?

...but ANYWAY - so Crazy.Stupid.Love.  It has Steve Carrell.  BAM.  All you need to know.  Sort of like a reincarnated Adam Sandler from the 1990’s, but older, and who’s zings have a deeper meaning than “The price is wrong, bitch!” ...ha, ha.... that shit is still funny, though!

This movie was unappreciated. I mean Steve Carrell, the random hot chicks, Julianne Moore, Analeigh Tipton, and Jonah Bobo.  The cast acted wonderfully together and the plot was thicker and more surprising than my 3 years old daughter making me my surprise birthday breakfast stew. 

O-k, so here’s the spiel... Emily wants a random divorce from Cal because she’s trapped in a loveless marriage (of course it has been over ten years, isn’t that the anniversary gift of the 11th year of marriage?).  Ends up Cal wants Emily, Jessica wants Cal, Robbie wants Jessica, and apparently nobody wants poor poor dopey Robbie.  Cal moves out, sleeps with a few hotties, with the help of Jacob (which has now become one of my personal heroes).  Without giving away any more information, just know that Cal has an older daughter, Jessica, who is rarely mentioned in the first half, but is the reason for the three man sissy fight near the end of the movie between Cal, Jacob, and David (Kevin Bacon).  What? I didn’t mention Kevin Bacon before?  Hmmm.  Must be because he’s only seven degrees from being a one line extra in every movie in 2013 and onwards.  Don’t get me wrong, he’s a good actor and hasn’t aged since 1972, but c’mon, whens the last time you were like “Aw shit, I gotta see that movie, it has KEVIN BACON for God sake!”

Anyway, I give this movie 3 OOHS and 2 AAHS, because it has a decent cast and some good funnies - the little twist at the end gave it an extra two AAH.

My name is Rob Thomas, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

Angel's Take:

Shut up, Rob. Here's my take on Crazy.Stupid.Love.

Finally - a real, honest, funny movie about marriage and separation, first love, dating and intimacy. Endearingly sweet without putting you into a diabetic shock. I’m talking about Crazy.Stupid.Love. Living overseas, I don’t have the privilege of seeing movies in the theater - so it took me a while to get to this movie. During the interim, I read reviews. I’m telling you - NEVER PAY ATTENTION TO PROFESSIONAL MOVIE REVIEWERS! What the hell were they watching before reviewing this this movie?! Obviously not the same movie that I saw when I downloaded it on iTunes! To date - this is my favorite Steve Carrell movie. This movie is to Steve Carrell as The Truman Show was to Jim Carrey. His performance was an understated revelation! And Ryan Gosling complemented Carrell’s sympathetic character well.

Let me break it down for you.

Cal Weaver (Carrell) and his wife, Emily (Julianne Moore) are having a safe, boring dinner together at a restaurant when she drops one random bombshell at Cal’s New Balanced feet. “I want a divorce.” Boom. That’s it. No warning. Nothing. While the the news sinks into Cal's brain that his wife is so unhappy that she found sexual solace from her co-worker, David Lindhagen (smarmy Kevin Bacon) - Cal manages to flee from a moving vehicle and blurt out (rather inappropriately) to his lovelorn babysitter, Jessica Riley (Analeigh Tipton), while his impressionable son, Robbie (Jonah Bobo), inadvertently learns that his parents are on the outs. Did I forget to mention that Jessica is fawning over the “best dad she babysits for” Cal and poor Robbie is following behind Jessica like a poor lovesick puppy dog prone to masterbating? Oh, yeah. That’s going on too. Sounds pretty simple right? Nothing you haven’t heard before right? Right.

Cut to your standard 20 something bar/club where single people mingle and flirt and drink without abandon. We are introduced to a young woman named Hannah (Emma Stone) declaring her love for the ever-so-sexy Conan O’Brien and her blunt friend and co-worker (her name really doesn’t matter - she just serves as a brief form of comic relief). Hannah is quickly spotted by the bar/club’s patron wolf on the prowl, Jacob Palmer (ever charming, ever handsome Gosling). Sure he oozes charm - but he also oozes bullshit which is to his slight disadvantage. I say slight because he does manage to leave a lasting impression on Hannah, who later bombards him in the bar/club and propositions him faster than an AT&T telemarketer.

But going back - Cal manages to make his 40 something way to the hip new 20 something establishment mentioned before. He overwhelms others with his sad, pathetic tale of being “cuckolded” by the now infamous David Lindhagen. It goes on for a few nights and Jacob, tired of hearing the private tidbits of his marriage in shambles, approaches him with promises to makeover his appearance and adjust his attitude in life as a means to score with hot ladies and find his manhood that was lost somewhere along his 20 year union with Emily.
 

So we have the dynamics between Cal and Emily, Cal and Jacob, Cal and his lady friends, Cal and Robbie, Emily and David, Emily and Robbie, Jacob and Hannah, and Robbie and Jessica. Great stuff!! There are laughs, mixups, misunderstandings, and a major character twist that I swear to God did not see coming! The ending is sweet - but not predictable. Not everyone ends up happy or getting exactly what they want - but it’s a satisfying and heartfelt ending that will leave you pleased that you chose to watch Crazy.Stupid.Love.

If you have ever dated or have ever been married or have ever had a relentless crush - you will relate to Crazy.Stupid.Love. and laugh all the way through. I’m seriously surprised why this movie didn’t receive more praise. I won’t say hype because in my eyes - praise equals merit while hype equals groupies who fawn over the likes of Transformers, Saw movies 2 and up, or even the Twilight series as it slowly falls from viewers good grace. Opening weekend found Cowboys & Aliens at number 1, followed by The Smurfs at number 2, and repeat movies Captain America and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows Part 2 at numbers 3 and 4. Crazy, Stupid, Love. came in at number 5?! Behind The Smurfs?! Are we really that vapid? My only surmise from that kind of box office result is that we will pay a pretty penny to escape reality - even if it means watching Harrison Ford (light years from his prime) using a lasso to whip at aliens or Doogie Howser, M.D. trolling through NYC with little blue creatures singing “Faa-la-la-la-la-laaa!!”

Crazy.Stupid.Love. deserved more from viewers! This movie gets 5 OOHS! If you have yet to see this movie - watch it now! If you have seen this movie - watch it once again!